Fifty Shades Too Many

Ok, so along with every other woman on the planet between the ages of 20-60, I'm reading the E.L. James 'Fifty Shades' trilogy. I've been away from work for a few weeks (again), and the whisperings of 'Mummy Porn' got the better of me, so I downloaded 'Fifty Shades of Grey' onto my Kindle, and plunged in head first.

The more I read, the more I developed a strong feeling that I knew the plot already. The sex scenes were new, but the plot was definately familiar:

'Young, virginal, clumsy woman with self confidence issues, falls blindly in love with a devastatingly handsome man with a secret and troubled past.' It's Twilight! (Don't judge me people, I'm a school librarian..it was research :))

Further investigation (yes, I know I'm sad) proved me right. The 'Fifty Shades' Trilogy was originally written for a 'fan-fiction' website, and initially contained characters names Bella Swan and Edward Cullen. After concerns over the sexual nature of James' writing, she removed the stories from the fan-fiction sites, and re-wrote the books under their current titles.

I've never read anything from the erotic fiction genre before (I live a very sheltered life), but I'm almost embarrassed to admit that did quite enjoy the first book. Possibly because it was a new genre to me, possibly because I was bored, I couldn't truthfully comment, but I finished it in a day. The plot was easy to follow, there were a few interesting words (and ideas) in it, I had nothing better to do, so I wanted to finish the book.

By book two, 'Fifty Shades Darker', I'd kind of become accustomed to/bored by the writing style of James. She tends towards the use of unusual vocabulary, but she uses a word, then uses it again, then again, then again (a bit like Christian does to Ana) until frankly I got fed up of 'Christian's mercurial behaviour' and just wants to hear that he's a moody bugger. It was in this book, the 'break up and life stands still' book (see Twilight again, New Moon by Stephanie Myers), that I found greater pleasure using the 'Dictionary Look Up' option on my Kindle to guess the definitions of some of James' more colourful vocabulary. The sex scenes had ceased to be titilation and became predictable; he put his finger there, she quivered with excitement...blah de blah! Still, I'd started so I finished (a bit like Ana...every time...as if!)

Book three. Fifty Shades Freed. Thank god it's the last one.

I'm sorry ladies, but I've about given up. My relationship with 'Fifty Shades' has passed through the 'can't get enough' phase, through 'yeah, it's still quite good, if a little predictable' to 'what should I do, read or decorate the ceiling...' I think I'm over it!

And now that it's over, I'm starting to wonder what it was that has made it (and Twilight) such a success, and I'm beginning to realise I'm not very comfortable with my thoughts.

Think about Mr Darcy and Mr Rochester. Think about the time period that these books were written. Think about the assumed subservience of their women. Then think about women in 2012. We're different, aren't we? Our fore-sisters burned their bras and threw themselves in front of race horses. We are equal to our men. That is what we wanted and that is what we have...kind of. But, if books like 'Fifty Shades' and 'Twilight' are speaking to the thoughts and desires of women to be subservient to men, what does this mean? Is this what we want? To be dominated? Or is it simply escapism. Is it acceptable to be subservient at times, and expect equality at others? (No wonder men don't understand us!) The fact that both authors are women, and both series have been hugely successful amongst audiences of mostly women must say something.

Sitting...and sitting...and sitting.....

So.
Here I am.
On the sick again.
Counting days...hours...minutes until I can go back to work...
Still.
At least the sun's making an effort now!
It was positively tepid this afternoon!

My knee's been 'repaired' by taking a graft from my hamstring and threading it through lovely holes that've been drilled through my bones! Wicked! The bruising looks like modern art and my right leg is now distinctly sausage looking. Still. Chin up eh? Not too high though, I might sprain it!

Seriously though, it's pretty damned clever what they can do innit!

On a positive literary note, it's giving me loads of time to write stuff.

I had 2 'flash fiction' (VERY very short stories) published on National Flash Fiction day here:
http://thewrite-in.blogspot.com

and another story is going to be published on the '1000 words' site on June 2nd. (Check out my button!!)

Watch this space for further injury news exciting instalments!

Writing on the Wall

Hey!
I've entered a Flash Fiction competition....actually I've entered a couple...but first things first.

For those of you who don't know, Flash Fiction is basically very very short stories...usually 500 words (ish), and National Flash Fiction Day is in May this year.

The Writing on the Wall competition focuses on the end of the world, this being imminent according to the Myan calendar.

You can read my entry at this link...

www.writingonthewall.org.uk/flash-fiction-submission.html

I think I'm on the third page (make your own Page 3 jokes at will).

You can 'Like' my story...(or dislike others ha ha!)

I'm also going to be published here: www.1000words.org.uk some time in May.

And you all knew me before I got famous! ;)

Blink and I'm Over...

Wow! Has it really been that long since I posted on here? Life is definately passing me by!

I'm pleased to report a HUGE improvement in my general joint 'issues', but slightly embarassed to admit to this year's skiing injury!

We had a great holiday this February in a resort called Borovetz in Bulgaria, but I managed to snap my cruciate ligament on the first day! (Yup...typical!!!)

Basically I managed to fall over backwards on a red run, which sent me rolling downhill (sexy), and the tip of my ski got stuck in the snow...I kept rolling...and the rest is history! I'm getting remodelled (again) on 2nd May, which will add some lovely metal pins to my list of add-ons. I'll probably be a whole new person by the time I'm fifty!! I think that might be Craig's secret plan!

On the plus side, it will give me time to catch up on my non-University related writing. I plan on entering every available writing competition in the hope of ....well ...prizes (!?) Ha Ha! So watch this space ...www.fresh1nk.wordpress.com

and also...check out my new blog (woohoo get me!) at www.smoffat99.wordpress.com.
It contains some examples of my poetry, flash fiction and short stories.